Vendredation Day, back when I was cool and lived downtown with my boyfriend, used to be about restaurants and cool places. Those days are over people. *Sniffle*
As noted in my previous post, my former lightning-fast speed is, well, gone. I’m now slow. At least in terms of movement, which is important to me, because I like to, and used to, move A LOT and I always did so quickly.
So, when told to go off work to prevent pre-term labour (success, by the way), I had to find ways to occupy my ADHD-self. Here are some suggestions for investments and activities that I would highly recommend.
For the mobile days/weeks:
- Swimming! I found an outdoor pool for the summer, which was a goddess-send. It’s now closed and I’m going to the indoor one. The benefits of the indoor one are that I don’t have to wear sunscreen or worry about exacerbating the G-D SUN SPOTS I GOT ON MY UPPER LIP THIS SUMMER. Swimming is particularly fun when you’re pregnant and there are children around. On several occasions, children would be so fascinated by my belly that they would go under water to look at it *inconspicuously* through their goggles. Then they would go get their friends and tell them to do the same. Clever little brats.
- Shopping! Not for clothes if you’re pregnant, because that’s just a gigantic waste of money. But lamps, rugs, frames, dishes, pet paraphernalia, gifts for other people – the list is endless!
- Lunching! For the days when I can eat without wanting to throw up, I’ve been lucky to have school-employed people available over the summer and my grandmother. It’s a good way to pass a couple of hours.
- Spa! As per the last post, some of us haven’t had the ability to cut our own toenails for… well, I can’t remember the last time I was able to do it myself. So, either grab a friend or make a new one and go get a pedicure! Lots of time to kill? Throw in a manicure. It’s not a luxury many of us are used to indulging in on a regular basis, but think of all the money you’re saving while on the clothing-buying moratorium!
For limited mobility/days when you’re totally exhausted or weeks (2, to be precise) when you’re on bed rest:
- Movies! I’ve been a Turner Classic Movies channel fan for a long time and recently, I record as many as I can per week and there they are waiting for me, in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep, or in the middle of the day when I can’t sleep but also can’t stand because of exhaustion. Also, re-watched some other classics (Pride and Prejudice, Manchurian Candidate).
- TV Series! Note: Not TV. It’s hell. It’s stupid. It will drive you crazy. However, if you are fortunate enough to have a friend with, oh, say, every season of the Gilmore girls available, get it. Or, a friend with random shows you’ve never heard of on a hard drive that he’s willing to lend you, get it (and The League, for Fantasy Football people, in particular).
- KOBO/Kindle! I love my Kobo so much, I can’t put it into words (ironic, I know). I’ve read more books over the last month and a half than I usually do in a year. I’m now reading a real book that BFF lent me and I’m so irritated by it. Where’s the ease of holding and transporting? Why’s it so damn heavy? I’ve contemplated giving her back the book and buying it for my Kobo, but figure that’s the kind of reckless spending that would put my offspring’s future at (more) risk (than it already is). Some particularly good reads: The Flying Troutmans, Tess of the d’Urbervilles, Alone in the Classroom. Stay away from The Sentimentalists. ugh. Also, I tried War and Peace, but I think Anna Karenina last year filled my lifetime Tolstoy quota (tbc).
- Pouting! Don’t underestimate it. Sometimes, pouting/sniveling/whimpering really are the answer to your problems.
- Pets! They’re great company, especially when they’re lazy little bastards. Mine follow me from resting place to resting place and then plant their cuteness somewhere visible (case in point, below). *NOTE: Downside is pets, such as a 10 lb Pomeranian, who snores louder than two adults and farts could compete with a 250 linebacker after a Taco Bell binge.*
Quitta on sympathy bedrest
- Photo Albums! I’ve been using MixBook online to create photo books that have a scrapbook feel, without the work of a scrap book (win-win!). I did one for my sister from our trip to Havana and the one for the babies is now 80% done, just waiting for pictures to drop in to their pre-positions.
- Blackberry! Between random 5 hour stays at the hospital and middle-of-the-night-I-don’t-feel-like-getting-out-of-bed-or-reading scenarios, my new BB Torch has been a lifesaver. Not only do you find out who else in your BBM/FB network are insomniacs (so many!), but you have excellent sources of brainless entertainment at your fingertips, like Solitaire and Word Mole (note: when all of the words you’re finding are things like “painful”, “hopeless”, “gin”, “hatred”, etc., likely time to switch over to Solitaire).
Happy long weekend people and wishing Michael (my surly, non-committal doula) and Ally-O the most magical of days this upcoming Sunday!! Fingers crossed that we’ll be there to celebrate with you (and that labour will then commence the moment your wedding is over)!!
So, in the three years I spent trying to get myself knocked up, I spent much time romanticizing pregnancy whilst trying to ignore the complaints of my friends who were actually pregnant. About a month or two before I got pregnant (this time, for good), I began to listen. I listened so much that I was so looking forward to adoption for many reasons (and still am), including skipping pregnancy, labour and the whole newborn phase. I get that all you parents say that it’s magical, but quite frankly, your actions speak louder than words and you ALL seem(ed) tired and miserable. And so, in no way a sour grapes approach to my “fertility journey”, I began to feel fortunate to be able to skip it altogether.
And then I got pregnant. Again. And this time, it was different from the first moment. And, in an even more shocking turn of events, I’m actually still pregnant (36 weeks today). Weird.
Pros:
- Nausea (once you’ve had three previous pregnancies where there was no nausea and that subsequently ended in miscarriages, you begin to LOVE the feeling of nausea and vomiting).
- The ginormous belly is kind of hilarous. So are the dance moves that you can make with it. Alone. In your tunders.
- The kicking, rolling and punching from within. Very cool.
- Super cool crazy dreams. I wish I could videotape them. Last night, I dreamed that a bunch of us had babies and then went to a movie. One of those people was my mother, who named her newborn son Honour. I will miss the dreams. I’ve never been so creative in my life.
- Random people rubbing your belly. Some people hate it; I love it. I keep meaning to remember to carry lotion around so that they can rub it with lotion while they’re at it.
- My former cellulite has been stretched out by the weight gain, making for smooth skin.
- The crazy boob growth.
- People are way nicer to you. Leave space for you at the grocery store. Hold doors open for you. It’s just so… civilized. If only we all treated each other like we were all pregnant all of the time. There would be world peace, I’m certain.
- Being unable to cut your own toenails, you have to go get regular pedicures.
- The uncovered generosity of your network: Baby showers, drop-offs by neighbours, friends and colleagues. It’s overwhelming and very touching.
Cons:
- Nausea and vomiting. Especially, as is the case for yours truly, when it lasts the duration of the pregnancy. Goddess bless Diclectin.
- Trying to sleep with a basketball-that-morphs-into-a-40-lb-medicine-ball appended to your stomach. Hint: There is no sleep. The pillow things help only marginally.
- Oh, the acne. I think my grandmother said it best: “What’s wrong with your face?!” “I’m carrying two humans inside me…?” Luckily, this subsided after a few months.
- Inability to breathe easily, which apparently has a deleterious impact on your (already lacking) singing abilities. I could hold a bad/wrong note before and now I can’t even do that. Car concerts are over.
- The crazy boob growth (and pain).
- The falling and subsequent sprained foot problems.
- Becoming slow, when I used to do everything at lightning speed.
- The fear that something is wrong or will go wrong, which I think is common for most women/parents-to-be. For those of us who have had struggles in the past, this is all the more amplified by actual experiences to fuel the fears.
Obviously, I would not have traded this experience for anything. And, if a doctor had told me a year ago – when I was in the depth of depression – that I would have to endure these cons (in addition to some that are just too damn grotesque to mention because I’m still traumatized by them) to have a family, it would have been a no-brainer. In fact, I would have signed up for 8 months of any kind of torture just to be where I am today. But, if I hear one more woman insinuate that pregnancy is magical and the best time of her life, my head’s going to pop right off.
My Magical Pregnancy
Or at least, that’s what he told me to call this post. Oh, and I’m supposed to sign it “by his ever-admiring aunt.” Remind me if I forget.
Here’s some random facts about my 16 year old nephew, with whom we’re currently living (along with his parents, of course):
- He is obsessed with physics. He talks about vectors and inertia and sound waves while we all sit around the table with a stunned look on our faces.
- He can run really, really fast. But he doesn’t do that often, ’cause he’s lazy. Did I mention he is 16?
- Currently he is accruing a diaper change tally. For every dish that he doesn’t put in the dish washer, he’s going to have to change a diaper. He’s up to 11, and counting. Because he’s lazy.
- He’s hilarious, particularly when he makes fun of his laziness.
- He’s probably the most mature person in our family.
- He burns 4,500 calories a day just existing. This inspires infinite amounts of jealousy in me. And sometimes bitterness.
- He has questionable taste in movies. Although we are about to watch The Big Lebowski, so…
- He’s getting pretty sick of Uncle Marco and Auntie Lori practicing parenting on him and would like our reno’s to be done so that we can move out of his bedroom, his house, and his head.
Signed,
Your ever-adoring aunt. Seriously.
{This is him, ringing the tacky Hyundai “you’ve just bought a car!” bell. He got to ring it because he talked me into the red one stating that “life is too short to buy a black car.” Good call, Benaroo. Good call.}
Filed under: general
Sunday’s brunching with the ladies required the hostess’ husband to occupy his 2.5 year old so that we could gossip, talk about shopping for expensive bags + how best to re-use vintage fur, discuss Anna Karenina and argue about research methods over delicious food (we’re renaissance women, what can I say?). This Dad – a macho Jewish police officer, it should be noted – took his dress-clad daughter, on a Sunday morning, to Cosmic Adventures(ish) to enable our reckless yammering. Upon his return, we politely asked how it was, to which he replied: (more…)
I’ve ridden double decker buses in England, and loved every moment. The novelty has clearly not worn off. Husband got hung up on with an hysterical “I gotta go! It’s a double decker!” when I saw the double decker approaching my bus stop this evening. After frantically telling the OC Transpo bus driver how excited I was to finally get to ride this bus (his response: “Really?”), I ran up the stairs to find an empty upper deck. I don’t know what was bigger – my smile or the gigantic window two feet from my face.
Before you think I’m a complete loser, think twice (or know that there are others like me). A few stops into the “flying ride” (as I will now think of it), the bus stops, I hear a furious scamper up the stairs and when I look back, I see a woman, maybe 40, with a huge smile on her face as she plops herself in the front row, across from me. We looked at each other, both with big stupid smiles, and said (I feel like it was simultaneously, but this may be morphing into a Broadway musical in my head) “(i)sn’t this so fun!??!” A few stops later some more people got on and jumped into our “isn’t this fun?” conversation (which we were still having), thereby confirming the joy these buses bring to everyone.
And so, readers, it will be the double decker bus that will serve as the foundation for my new world peace proposal (to come).
Look very closely...
