ms. fresh fish


Bring it on back
March 21, 2016, 6:27 pm
Filed under: general | Tags: , , ,

My eyes hurt from crying. I imagine if I looked in a mirror, I’d look like a boxer… after the fight.

And as always lately, the trigger was a song.

When it came on a smile built on a two-decades’ old memory washed over my face. As the song went on, it felt like all that time, it had been prophetic.

My brother, until he was forever changed – yes, changed – by an autoimmune disease combined with a mental illness, was my brother, my father, my best friend, my biggest fan, my mentor and ally.

We used to dance around our house and sing. Like, sing. Our two favourites were Lisa Loeb’s “Stay” (he was totally Ethan Hawke in Reality Bites, as an aside) and the one below.

I hadn’t heard it in… forever. So, when it came on today on the way home from visiting him in hospital, where he’s been for almost 3 months, I was instantly overcome. I remember so vividly us yell-singing this song so damn theatrically around our living/dining room, that we would end up doubled over laughing.

But today, as the song progressed and then came to its beautiful ending, the smile evolved into tears. And I continued to bawl for the countless times I then replayed it.

Bring it on back, bro. Keep fighting and come back to us. We love you.

You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling

Advertisements