ms. fresh fish

Lisa Loeb, Guard Cat
July 29, 2013, 8:17 am
Filed under: babies, Cat Love, family, ottawa, Willy

Anyone who has spent some time near our home when the weather is even bearable, let alone gorgeous, will know about our cat, Lisa Loeb.

She is the cat lying in the middle of the road, completely sprawled out, getting up only occasionally to either scare a dog or, well, viciously murder a small bunny, squirrel or bird. (The last bit is usually without an audience. Usually.)

I’ve begun to see more clearly what she’s doing and am more and more certain that her prime objective is to protect *her* kids.

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You know you’ve been on Christmas break too long when…
January 3, 2011, 7:28 pm
Filed under: general, Willy

(Warning: For those who don’t have a sweet govie 9-5 gig, or have children, this will likely set you into a rage. Proceed with caution.)

– The thought “(s)eriously, another day off?” jumps in priority with every additional day. This morning, it was my first thought and it was accompanied by a little bit of annoyance.
– Your circadian rhythm adjusts from its former 11 p.m. – 7 a.m. sleep schedule to 12 a.m. – 10:30 a.m. (and is often further accompanied by an afternoon nap).
– You can’t recall the last time you used your contact lenses, or wore make-up for that matter. And where in goddess’ name is my hair dryer and straightener?
– The gym becomes an appealing hang-out rather than a leper colony to be avoided at all costs.
– Mark Zuckerberg sends you a personal message telling you that you spend too much time on Facebook.
– You begin to wonder if your sandwich creations made up of leftovers would work in a restaurant (roast beef, dijon-mayo, rapini and provolone! turkey, havarti and cranberry-mayo!).
– Your dog starts telling you (I guess the fact that your dog starts talking could warrant a separate entry, but you also get very lazy) that he’d like you to get out of his space and go back to work.
– You and your sister go into unprecedented level of detailed speculation about family members’ love lives.
– It feels like your in-laws visited three months ago, but it’s actually been a week.
– You’re a little bit annoyed that celebrities are behaving and not providing any news-breaking worthy gossip fodder.

Yes, people. It is time to go back to work. I guess.

Don’t rush!
April 2, 2007, 7:41 am
Filed under: events, family, ottawa, Sports, Willy

A funny thing happens when you get married. Your plans to re-populate the earth become open discussion for everyone. It’s fascinating. We don’t really mind (yet), but had a kind of interesting experience this weekend.

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Smarty Pants
March 19, 2007, 2:25 am
Filed under: events, ottawa, Willy

You could cut the tension with a knife in our home on Sunday night. On the line: Who has the higher IQ? We just, just avoided disaster by getting virtually the same score, so until next year’s re-match, the marriage remains intact. Close call. At one point during Test the Nation, we both wondered what were the chances of me coming out of this … experience… not crying. I don’t take losing very well, especially to Husband, especially on intelligence. I can tie, no problem. But not loose. Anyone who witnessed our month-long descension into darkness over daily score-keeping Jeopardy will understand the danger we face. But as it would turn it out, according to that little culturally-biased test, we actually have equal abilities overall, but most importantly in both logic and math – previously thought to be complete and utter write-offs for me.

Funny thing though, turns out you can have an “above average” IQ (as much as I wanted to be a genius, it would appear, surprise, surprise, that I’m not) and still make horrible concert decisions.

And that, logically, brings me to Meat Loaf.

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Willy Revealed
May 24, 2006, 2:26 am
Filed under: general, Willy

I've written a lot about my dog and realize I have yet to show him to you!

And so, here's Willy (not biting someone or peeing on something prohibited) cruising around at the park last year, continuing to enjoy his borrowed time at the expense of our sanity and general peace of mind. 

 Willy at the park

Sadly, you can't see his spiked collar in the photo. People think I'm trying to make my fluffy dog seem more like a dog (less like a cat), but let this be a lesson to you all – if you see a "cute" dog wearing a studded/spiked collar, consider the fact that it's entirely possible that the owner is trying to warn the general public rather than make a fashion statement (that's just a side bonus).

I know what some of you are thinking, and fair enough. We know he's no Elly (see post on April 18th:, but still… he's pretty cute for a pure-bred a-hole.

Ban Pomeranians!
May 16, 2006, 12:50 am
Filed under: general, Willy

The day that I announce that no one checks my blog on Mondays is the Monday that a ton of people check it. Why are you all so unpredictable? Anyway, thanks for checking yesterday and sorry to have not been able to entertain.

The ban on pitbulls is really heating up now that someone is contesting it because apparently being unable to go to the dog park infringes on her quality of life and is a Charter issue. I'm a former, and still occasional, dog park regular, so I know what a huge role the dog park can play in a person's social and emotional life. Since I moved so very far away from the dog park, I'm a different person. No longer exposed to people from different backgrounds and careers, no longer taking that long walk to the park, no longer having the exciting random – and sometimes scandalous – conversations. I miss it for sure, but I don't think the dog really misses it. He's more of a people's dog than a dog's dog and can never quite understand why the other dogs chase eachother/balls/sticks around leaving the humans standing there with treats in their pockets, looking for something cute to pet. My dog is right in there, happy to be pet and fed, especially if it's an attractive blond woman (don't ask me why, but it's true).

Willy is, however, known for other characteristics besides lingering around and mooching cheap rubs and stale treats. The real 'men' in the park always got a kick out of playing a particular game with him. It's really fun and if any of you took me up on my suggestion to read Yvonne's comment last week, you'll already have an idea of how it goes. There are two variations to its beginning – either Man X kind of bats Willy around in that aggressive but playful kind of way or he tries to sneak up on him. The second phase of the 'game' entails picking up the little blonde pomeranian. Sometimes Willy humours them for fifteen seconds or so, but usually he reacts right away. Specifically, he reacts by going for the jugular. I'm fairly certain if he intended to actually get the jugular, he would, but he gives them a good scare and they feel like they've had their thrill for the day. The problem is when park newbies, or apartment visitors or just random people on the street go to pick up the cute little guy (he is frickin' adorable). It's not fun for them. Instead it's more akin to one of those "I thought I was about to die by the toxic bite of a vicious blond pomeranian" episodes we've all had once or twice.

My point is, anyone who has been around a lot of dogs knows that it's often the owners (and for the record, we only got Willy when he was seven and already clearly damaged) and it ranges across dogs. At my old dog park, Willy was the most dangerous for humans (that didn't understand his complexities) and everyone knew it. When the by-law officers came to the park looking for pitbulls, there would always be a gentle nudging of their attention to Willy or the schnauzers who were brutal with the other dogs. And what were the pitbulls doing? Running away from Willy, generally.

Check this out:

And don't even get me started about Yvonne's cat Gertie…

Willy attacks Ginger Spice!
May 10, 2006, 2:49 am
Filed under: general, Willy

So embarrassing. My dog, Willy, has been caught attacking a very pregnant Ginger Spice. Man, she was my favourite Spice Grrl too… actually, who am I kidding? She still is. Luckily, she's very forgiving to Pomeranian attacks.


Waiting For A Spice Girls Reunion

Willy (bottom right), planning the attack:


p.s. For those of you who know Willy, you'll get a kick out of Yvonne's comment, which can be found to the left!