ms. fresh fish

Lisa Loeb, Guard Cat
July 29, 2013, 8:17 am
Filed under: babies, Cat Love, family, ottawa, Willy

Anyone who has spent some time near our home when the weather is even bearable, let alone gorgeous, will know about our cat, Lisa Loeb.

She is the cat lying in the middle of the road, completely sprawled out, getting up only occasionally to either scare a dog or, well, viciously murder a small bunny, squirrel or bird. (The last bit is usually without an audience. Usually.)

I’ve begun to see more clearly what she’s doing and am more and more certain that her prime objective is to protect *her* kids.

Playing on our neighbours’ driveway today (because they are at work/school and so we may as well mess up their space instead of ours), I notice the cat is lying outside of their driveway. Like, eight feet out from the end of the driveway, completely sprawled out. If a car was to come careening around the corner (which happens more frequently than any of us are comfortable with), they would see this ridiculous cat, making herself as large as she possibly can, and slam on the brakes. And then – and only then – would they maybe see the two little twenty pound kids, unbelievably vulnerable and fragile, amusing themselves by disobeying their Mom by running out on the street, over and over and over again.


Sometimes, when they do both run out onto the street (because sometimes the cat does problematically serve as a temptation for them, albeit less so than the thrill of just being told “NO!”), and the cat hears me trying to, well, herd them, she does it. I swear to the Goddess of Blogs, Lisa Loeb (the cat) herds the children back into the driveway. She will run a circle around the outside of them and then run back to our house (or whichever house is closest, i.e. off the road) and they will follow her, running and giggling. It is in these moments when you can find me dumbfounded, standing in the middle of the street, unintentionally serving as the replacement road block for speeding cars.

So, the road blocking bit is super awesome. Lisa Loeb is protecting her kids (and, if hers are in bed, the rest of the kids) on the street by putting herself in harm’s way, knowing full well she’d be able to leap to safety quickly if the car didn’t see her.

The dog thing is a different, less win-win, situation. Lisa Loeb and Willy (sigh) never got along. Lisa Loeb still does not seem to love the idea of a dog, perhaps in case we contemplated getting another one. So, she terrorizes the neighbourhood dogs. Taunts them, hisses at them, knows exactly how to make each and every one of them go completely and utterly berserk. (Funny story – was annoyed at neighbours’ dogs for barking during nap time and waking up the kids a few weeks ago and happened to look out the window to see Ms Lisa Loeb sauntering down the street, all “my work is done here.”)

When we take the kids on a walk, the cat follows us for as long as she can, which is usually longer than I’d like, and across busier streets than I’m comfortable with. Again, protecting her brood, or whatever the cat term for “family” or “dependents” is. Should a dog happen upon us and be, by the owner’s account, a nice, gentle dog, the cat steps in, back and tail up, sending this formerly nice, well-behaved, calm dog into a full breakdown. Dog is barking, looking all mean and nasty, thereby – and this is what I’m most impressed by – making the kids nervous of the dog. Well played, Lisa Loeb. Well played.

While it’s possible that the cat is doing what she can to turn the kids against dogs, I’d like to think instead that this is just another feature of her Guard Cat persona.


4 Comments so far
Leave a comment

There was a “Stay” joke to be made here . . . I just couldn’t quite figure it out . . . Thanks for sharing this lovely tail. Er, tale. 🙂

Comment by missv234

There is no statute of limitations on commenting the “Stay” joke once you’ve figured it out…

Comment by freshfish

Cats are wonderful! I don’t think mine are protecting the baby yet, but they are tolerating her.

V – Stay joke, ha!

Comment by Marianna Annadanna

Baby steps. Ha!

Comment by freshfish

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