ms. fresh fish


Pregnancy: Pros + Cons
August 31, 2011, 12:05 pm
Filed under: babies, family, general

So, in the three years I spent trying to get myself knocked up, I spent much time romanticizing pregnancy whilst trying to ignore the complaints of my friends who were actually pregnant. About a month or two before I got pregnant (this time, for good), I began to listen. I listened so much that I was so looking forward to adoption for many reasons (and still am), including skipping pregnancy, labour and the whole newborn phase. I get that all you parents say that it’s magical, but quite frankly, your actions speak louder than words and you ALL seem(ed) tired and miserable. And so, in no way a sour grapes approach to my “fertility journey”, I began to feel fortunate to be able to skip it altogether.

And then I got pregnant. Again. And this time, it was different from the first moment. And, in an even more shocking turn of events, I’m actually still pregnant (36 weeks today).  Weird.

Pros:

– Nausea (once you’ve had three previous pregnancies where there was no nausea and that subsequently ended in miscarriages, you begin to LOVE the feeling of nausea and vomiting).

– The ginormous belly is kind of hilarous. So are the dance moves that you can make with it. Alone. In your tunders.

– The kicking, rolling and punching from within. Very cool.

– Super cool crazy dreams. I wish I could videotape them. Last night, I dreamed that a bunch of us had babies and then went to a movie. One of those people was my mother, who named her newborn son Honour. I will miss the dreams. I’ve never been so creative in my life.

– Random people rubbing your belly. Some people hate it; I love it. I keep meaning to remember to carry lotion around so that they can rub it with lotion while they’re at it.

– My former cellulite has been stretched out by the weight gain, making for smooth skin.

– The crazy boob growth.

– People are way nicer to you. Leave space for you at the grocery store. Hold doors open for you. It’s just so… civilized. If only we all treated each other like we were all pregnant all of the time. There would be world peace, I’m certain.

– Being unable to cut your own toenails, you have to go get regular pedicures.

– The uncovered generosity of your network: Baby showers, drop-offs by neighbours, friends and colleagues.  It’s overwhelming and very touching.

Cons:

– Nausea and vomiting. Especially, as is the case for yours truly, when it lasts the duration of the pregnancy. Goddess bless Diclectin.

– Trying to sleep with a basketball-that-morphs-into-a-40-lb-medicine-ball appended to your stomach. Hint: There is no sleep. The pillow things help only marginally.

– Oh, the acne. I think my grandmother said it best: “What’s wrong with your face?!” “I’m carrying two humans inside me…?” Luckily, this subsided after a few months.

– Inability to breathe easily, which apparently has a deleterious impact on your (already lacking) singing abilities. I could hold a bad/wrong note before and now I can’t even do that. Car concerts are over.

– The crazy boob growth (and pain).

– The falling and subsequent sprained foot problems.

– Becoming slow, when I used to do everything at lightning speed.

– The fear that something is wrong or will go wrong, which I think is common for most women/parents-to-be. For those of us who have had struggles in the past, this is all the more amplified by actual experiences to fuel the fears.

Obviously, I would not have traded this experience for anything. And, if a doctor had told me a year ago – when I was in the depth of depression – that I would have to endure these cons (in addition to some that are just too damn grotesque to mention because I’m still traumatized by them) to have a family, it would have been a no-brainer. In fact, I would have signed up for 8 months of any kind of torture just to be where I am today. But, if I hear one more woman insinuate that pregnancy is magical and the best time of her life, my head’s going to pop right off.

My Magical Pregnancy

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10 Comments so far
Leave a comment

HA! I hear you. My husband and I are trying for kid number two and I told a (childless) friend recently that I was scared. KNOWING what all it entails. She scoffed at me! I was rather annoyed. Some of it is glorious and magical . . . most of it is really damn hard!

Comment by Diana

Pregnancy is not magical…it’s an experience. Or something. I’m only 16 weeks with our first…so you’ve got lots more on me…but I hear you. And what about headaches? Those are the worst!…for me, anyway.

Comment by Jessica

Diana – I’m impressed you’re going for a second round. Husband and I have decided next round (if there is) will definitely be adoption!

Jessica – Never had headaches, strangely, because I’m prone to migraines when not pregnant. Good luck with the rest of it. Just keep your eye on the prize (or so I keep telling myself!)!

Comment by freshfish

oh i hated my pregnancy even though it took a while and i was super anxious to get pregnant. i seriously think if you could just buy ready made babies at wal mart like everything else life would be easier.
But i did like shopping for maternity wear : )

Comment by Sheila Jain

It’s good that you wrote down the cons – because the really magical thing is how quickly you forget them, once you’re holding the wee babes in your arms.

That feeling persists – at least through young childhood – you get to have that wonderful, warm, total 100% love feeling – every time you see them sleeping, peacefully, beautifully.

Congratulations again and again. Will look forward to stories from your household in the coming months 😉

Comment by Jenn G

Love this. And the picture is lovely.

You faced pregnancy better than anyone could have – so impressed with you, as always.

I had an unusual burst of positivity today and I told IH to “drop a marble” for a Green Light. He flinched, and then said that I was WAY too *you*. I can only wish.

I can’t wait to see you attempt to handle this. 😉 xo

Comment by Marianna Annadanna

If I ever go through this, and my boobs get even bigger than they already are, I think that might entail some form of magic ; )

Glad you found the the words to share this experience — the golden and not so golden moments.

Comment by v

Sheila – maternity shopping (fat jeans) was definitely fun at first, but since then has lost its enamour for me!

Jenn – I love your perspective and I *hope* I have the same one. After all, the three years of trying was not to get pregnant, it was to have children, so I’m hopeful that that phase is actually magical!

MJ – There better be a g-d marble dropping when I give birth!! And I want a picture of it! With Algar in it! And Hodges DROPPING THE BIG MARBLE!!

V – I’ve seen it done, with boobs bigger than yours (shocking, I know). Luckily, you forever-big-boobied women are so used to hiding yourselves that most people don’t know the difference to look at you (whereas I was apparently distracting people continuing to dress mine in their “average” attire). But oh the discomfort – I can’t even imagine!

Comment by freshfish

I adore you. Also, I like that some of your pros are generally my cons so far. But maybe I just need get my head out of my ass and gain some perspective.

Comment by Marianna Annadanna

It’s a retrospective. And, as we know, I had a much different prelude to get there than you did. As DLR said, I was probably the only pregnant person smiling while puking. (Although now I know there are more than us…)

Comment by freshfish




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