ms. fresh fish

V-Day Trauma
February 14, 2007, 7:10 am
Filed under: general

I get anxiety around Valentine’s Day. It’s not like it brings back bad memories of things done wrong unto me or anything. I certainly don’t stress about the anticipation of being disappointed by a thoughtless partner.

Instead, and unlike most women I suspect, I anticipate my acts of disappointment. It’s not only V-Day, but also Christmas, birthdays and especially those quasi-present-worthy occasions where (heart pounding) maybe I’m supposed to have a present, or no, or yes, or no?! V-Day is one of them.

While I’ve always been generally less thoughtful in the present-buying category than men and boys I’ve dated, the one I married truly puts me to shame. He excels at present buying. EXCELS. The V-Day loot that I brought in this year, er, I mean, was so thankful to receive, was like Christmas, but better because it was so unexpected. Each of the TEN items was absolutely perfect and a case of things that I never realized I wanted so much.

I, on the other hand, blow at present giving. The worst. It’s actually a joke amongst some near and dear who can make fun in a way that doesn’t make me cry. Exhibit A: Twenty years old and I give my best friend in the world a Little Mermaid lollypop twirler for Christmas. She, on the other hand, frames song lyrics for me that I still have up. She didn’t even like Little Mermaid, although she did like lollypops, up until then anyway.

Husband has been on the wrong end of my worst presents, which I swear are going to be perfect right up until he opens them. Luckily, I think he likes being better than me in this category. Makes up for all my sandwich making.

Plus, our new routine wherein I open his presents two to seven days early, which is then followed up by his providing me with a clear list of items he actually wants (rather than items I think he should want, or items that he said he wanted as a joke that I didn’t get) helps to draw the lines of what’s expected so that at the very least I’m in the right ball park.

p.s. I love that we live in a postcard.


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I was trying to figure out why I’ve never been a huge fan of v-day this morning (on my way to work), and I realized that it’s because it’s a pointless tradition.

It’s unlike christmas, or birthdays or halloween, where you get to do fun things that you otherwise wouldn’t necessarily be able to do. For example, at christmas time you get to dress up a beautiful tree with colourful lights and put it right in your living room – sweet. On halloween, you get to dress up, period. And on your birthday, well, you get to do whatever you want and have a perfect excuse to draw crowds along with you onto the adventure of your choice. But, what’s the point of v-day? What do you get to do on v-day that you otherwise wouldn’t be able to do – or at least that you wouldn’t be able to do and still be considered a sane person?

The way I see it, celebrating v-day is pretty much the least romantic thing you can do. Sure, it’s an opportunity to demonstrate your love for the special person in your life and do something wonderfully romantic together blah blah blah, but shouldn’t you be doing so every day, all the time? And what exactly is so romantic about celebrating on the same day as everyone else? Sure, you can be a little creative and opt not to go out for dinner and be surrounded by millions of other couples doing the exact same thing, but wouldn’t it be even more romantic to take your partner (or be taken) by surprise, or to do something wild and spontaneously together any day of the year without so much pressure and expectation associated? Isn’t that how you really keep the flame alive?

I suppose it can’t hurt to have yet another reason to indulge in chocolate, but that’s really the only reason to keep this v-day silliness going, isn’t it?

happy v-day everyone!

Comment by Mia

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